Rachel's Vineyard is a safe place to renew, rebuild and redeem hearts broken by abortion.
Weekend retreats offer you a supportive, confidential and non-judgmental environment where women and men can express, release and reconcile painful post-abortive emotions to begin the process of restoration, renewal and healing. For more information contact Chris Mackay at 204-772-1923 or email [email protected]
Abortion has been a readily available part of our culture since it’s legalization in 1973. Since then approximately 55 million abortions have been recorded in our nation. Statistics estimate that close to 43% (1 out of 3) women of childbearing age have experienced an abortion.
These are your sisters, mothers, wives and friends. These women carry an incredible burden of silence and heartache. Many struggle for years with repressed memories, guilt, shame and depression. Most women feel they are not allowed to talk about their abortion experience, especially in church. The truth is many women who have had an abortion suffer from symptoms of post-abortion grief and trauma. Most often, neither the medical community nor the church understands abortion as a risk factor in a woman’s physical, spiritual or emotional health.
If you feel you have never completely healed or recovered from an abortion experience, or that a past abortion may be affecting your current quality of life, then Surrendering the Secret is for you.
This study offers a 6 step biblical healing model led by women who have been where you are.
Surrendering the Secret is a study designed to bring women together who understand the need for seeking peace with the past and desire a better understanding of God’s plan for making the most painful losses of our past. Our mission is to provide a supportive and confidential environment that facilitates healing and restoration from a past abortion and bringing a sense of hope and purpose for the future.
If your partner or friend is facing a decision about an unexpected pregnancy, you are probably worried about her. You may be thinking about how the decision could affect you. As she considers parenthood, abortion, or adoption, you may be feeling scared, guilty, sad, shut out, or just plain confused. Even though you may be trying to be strong for her, your own feelings may be quite intense. You may be upset at the idea of losing or continuing the pregnancy. Or, you may be worried about losing your relationship with her.
Most women want to know how their partner feels. You may think it’s better to support whatever she wants, or you may not want to influence her too much. But, it’s important to tell her how you feel, knowing that ultimately she has to follow her own feelings. She does want to hear that you are concerned about her and that you care.
“I feel so guilty.” Some men feel guilty that they caused the pregnancy, especially if they were not using a condom. Unless you pressured her into having sex, you are both responsible for the pregnancy. Focus on what you can do now and in the future. Tell her that you are sorry it happened and become involved in preventing future pregnancy until you are both ready. You may feel guilty if she has chosen an abortion. Most people choose abortion only when they think it’s better than the alternatives. If you still think abortion is morally wrong, the solution lies in forgiveness--from yourself, from her, from God.
“I feel bad because I am not a good provider.” Sometimes men feel like a failure because they can’t afford a child--or another child. It may be a goal to become financially stable so that you can have a child someday. Or, you may feel that if you are working all the time, you can’t be with her and your children. More and more families are relying on two, or even three paychecks to get by. Or, you may feel that even though it will be hard, it’s worth having another child. Share your thoughts with her and let her help you.
“Will we break up?” If both of you agree and support each other and talk to each other, the relationship can get even better. Even if you don’t agree, if you show that you care about each other, the relationship can grow. But it is a very difficult time, so be patient and take the time to talk to each other. Even if you have agreed to break up, caring for each other now will make you both cope better with this unexpected situation. You will feel better knowing that you did your best at a difficult time.
“What do I do if she keeps blaming me?” If your partner is blaming you, it may mean that she wants to hear that you are sorry she is hurt and going through all this. Try saying sincerely, “I’m sorry I helped you get into this and I’m sorry you’re hurting.” You don’t have to take all the blame. If she continues to blame you, it may be her way of not taking responsibility.
“I wanted this baby.” It may be especially hard on you if you wanted to have a baby with her or get married and she doesn’t or is not ready. You may feel the loss more than she does. People who suffer a loss need to grieve. It’s important that you find someone who can listen to what you’re going through. That may be a counselor or a friend who can keep a confidence.